Continuing from Rightwing Bitch (1) ........
“Elizabeth Bathory! Why, kaytee, you still remember – how sweet of you!”
The way she said it seemed as if she was actually pleased I could remember one of my favourite insults for her. But with Margaret, unfortunately you could never tell. Her mind worked in the most devious and cunning ways.
BTW, Elizabeth Bathory was a Transylvanian countess in the 16th Century. She murdered and drank or bathed in the blood of 600 virgins in the belief that the macabre beverage would maintain her youth. She was the original vampire.
One day in class when I was berating Margaret for condoning the exploitation of cheap labour, I called her a bloody vampire, and that she was no better than Elizabeth Bathory. Soon my mates and I started to call her Lizacula. Needless to say, she reciprocated the insults - there's no need to remind ourselves of what hers were.
But there you have it – that summed up my relationship with Margaret, but it must be a more Machiavellian Margaret who would even pretend it sweet that I recalled her vampirish traits. Mind you, the way she has grown up into her new looks, she was one hell of a sexy vamp!
Hmmm, maybe I ought to call her Countess instead of Lizacula?
She then said, “What about you then? Still have those Che Guevara and Mao’s posters up on your room walls?”
... not that she had ever been in my room, no way Jose, though admittedly, I had become a far more ... er ... hospitable person ... er ... since that very moment - like me she was just making up insinuations to parry my insults
Her (large beautiful doe-like) eyes looked deeply at me with an expectation that I would confess so. I felt weak at the knees, while reminding myself that vampires did have hypnotic powers.
“Nah, those guys were too violent. I am the peaceful type. Mandela's my hero, and please no AK-47 for me - perhaps a flower” I replied nonchalantly, distracted at the same time by her fluttering eyelashes - aiyoo mama oi, they were just so deliciously enchanting!
Aiyah, where's that silver crucifix that a former (Catholic) girlfriend gave me when I needed one? Wait ... good grief, I might have pawned that away for beer money?
She interrupted my thoughts of that shameful transaction: “Look kaytee, it’s good to see you again. What say you we have a coffee, catch up and talk about old times?”
Good to see me? She must be kidding. We used to hate each other with deep vengeance, fullstop! Hey, Nelson Mandela called George W Bush the most dangerous person in the world - well, that's how I felt about Margaret then.
Normally with an enemy like her, I would straightaway give her the ta-ta, but please understand, those weren’t normal times. For a start she was better looking than Dubya. Two, OK I admit it, she's dead set gorgeous. I must confess that by then I was developing lots of hots for her, only that I was too proud to admit it then.
I pretended to glance at my watch but only very quickly, before silly olde her took seriously the pretend-hint that I wanted to buzz off; then I replied with just the correct degree of reluctance but not so reluctantly that she might cancel the coffee tete-a-tete out of deference for my 'tight schedule': “OK, I have been meaning to ask you about Ginny anyway.”
Hehehe, Ginny was her best friend and a real stunner. Brilliant! I congratulated myself for 'involving' Ginny because it would show that my willingness to have a coffee with her had more to do with her friend, and two, it ought to mask my growing interest (or lust?) in her. As the famous Chinese strategist Sun Tzu said: "Make a feint to the east but attack in the west."
I only hope Margaret didn't recall too vividly that Ginny and I hated each other, mainly because that stupid girl took her side. Well, some people didn't have any sense or taste.
I have to say I then hated myself too for being so pathetic, wanting to yum cha (have tea, not the Hong Kong dim sum treat) with the enemy, but then again, like good olde Sun Tzu said: “Know thy enemy and you will win a hundred battles.” Hey, I am all for heeding the advice of the elders, especially at a crucial time like the one I was experiencing.
But she robbed me of any sense of dignity by smiling triumphantly when I agreed to the coffee date, like she knew all along that I would succumb to her will, and don't forget the looks too.
Or, perhaps I was just guilty of my own ulterior motive and over imagining that her smile had an underlying message - yeah, that's it, just my guilt playing tricks on me. It's nothing more than Vampira smiling to show she brushed her teeth with Colgate.
to be continued ........