Who is an 'Asian'?

It took me several years to realise that when an Australian refers to 'Asian' he or she in general means Chinese or Vietnamese or perhaps Koreans – you know, basically the yellow race*.

* if you are wondering whether I had inadvertently omitted the Japanese, please read on

I had been under the impression that 'Asians' embrace the peoples of the Far East - eg Chinese, Koreans and Japanese - & South-East Asia - eg. Thais, Indonesians, Filipinos, Malaysians, etc – & the Indian sub-continent - eg. Bangladeshis, northern and southern Indians, Pakistanis, Sri Lankans, Nepalis - & Central Asia - eg. Afghans, Iranians, etc – that is, from yellow to brown to black to brown again, covering the broad expanse of the Asian continent.

No wonder sometimes when I heard over the radio, that such and such a '... petrol station was robbed by a man of Asian appearance', I thought to myself why the police couldn't be a bit more precise, like stating the suspect was Chinese, southern Indian, Indon or Filipino, because when mentioning western suspects, the police would describe them as of Mediterranean appearance, or blond, etc.

I was mistaken - the Police had been specific all along - because by 'Asian' they meant a bloke who looked like a Chinese or Vietnamese or Korean, and not, for example, a southern Indian or an Afghan (the latter usually classified as of 'Middle-Eastern' appearance).

An Aussie friend insisted on identifying me as a Malay-Chinese. Hmmm, I wonder whether his description would have made me safe from the police looking for a suspect of 'Asian' appearance?

Whenever he introduced me to friends, he would mention the rather unique ethnic classification of me. I wasn't sure whether to be impressed or otherwise as he might have unwittingly provided a solution to one of Malaysia's greatest problems.

But one day pedantic me decided to give him a quick 5 minutes education on Malaysia and its people. So, after much explanation including a brief history of our country, I asserted to him I am a Chinese Malaysian. He smiled and apologised, saying "Sorry kaytee, I wasn't aware you are a Chinese-Malay".

Ah well, sometimes you have to know when to throw in the towel. I left it at that before he confused me further.

But Japanese, to most Aussies, are always Japanese and never Asians. The mighty 'Yen' can do wonders to put the people of Nippon in a special category of their own.

Well, then there was WWII. And films like The Bridge on the River Kwai, A Town like Alice and Paradise Road, would bring out all the emotions in Aussies that Chinese Malaysians are all too familiar with, and which make us, both Aussies and Chinese Malaysians, remember Japanese in a 'unique' way.

Besides, Aussies are acutely aware it's the Japanese who kill whales to eat the meat of those poor endangered mammals. Yes, trust the Japanese to even make whale-burgers.

But we hope the Aussies would bear in mind that 'Asians' - as defined by the average Aussies - don't take cetacean meals, though we do eat dogs, cats, rats, snakes and sometimes monkeys, and the odd kangaroo or wombat that our cars have knocked down ;-)

As to be expected, for Aussies, Indons are Indons too.

I guess the average Aussie is so suspicious or (subconsciously) sh*t scared of the Indons that he forces himself to know them all too well, or so he thinks.

Why are they sh*t scared of their immediate northern neighbours?

It's an unfounded fear that had the original 'yellow peril' metamorphosing into the 'brown peril' just across the Timor Sea. I wonder whether this happened when the Aussies discovered, to their great surprise, that the 'yellow peril' were more interested in making money than invading/colonising anyone.

Of course don't forget that the popularity of Bali as a holiday resort for most Aussies, who while reposing on the golden sands of Bali Hai for a couple of sunshine weeks, would enjoy adequate time for intensive anthropometrical and physiognomical studies of the average Indon.

How a congenial 'research' environment with cheap beer while ogling ... er ... studying beautiful looking ... fine specimens of Balinese sauntering by can do wonders for Aussie familiarisation of who an Indon is and how he she looks like!


Note: I posted this on 6 July 2005 in my other blog KTemoc Konsiders - updating it here with some additions and the usual corrections to spelling, awkward phrases and flow.